Best Passover Seder Ever

Tips for Best Seder Ever. (You're Welcome.)

• Choose the right Haggadah, read at a fast clip, and make sure everyone has a copy. Continuously announce which page you're on to the guests because we smell the delicious food that hasn't been served yet and we're zoning out with dreams of eating it soon.
• Make awesome food. (See matzah toffee and almond butter brownies.)
• Raid your local salad bar for carryout containers so that your wonderful guests can take their portion home (instead of overeating or hiding your disgusting food in the plant behind them) without worrying about returning your Tupperware.
• Don't hide the Afikomen too well. You'll look like a cheapskate and nerd.
• Invite someone that plays guitar and has memorized the entire Camp Tawonga/Camp Tamarack/Camp Maas songbook for a sing-along during dessert.
• Make sure everyone takes their meds before attending, unless they're more fun at a party without their meds.
• Same as above but with alcohol.
• Make up a ridiculous activity and convince your guests that it's a tradition. "Oh, you never did that at your seder as a kid?" Perhaps along the theme of pestilence. You'll all laugh about it after your scars have healed.
• Don't let the youngest have all the fun with the four questions. Let others participate.
• Did someone say matzo ball martini?
• Don't forget that matzah placecards rule! (Thanks to A. Kleinman)